I’m here to come clean. Sometimes, I feel guilty for not running with the pack. I also sometimes (more these days) feel guilty for not being at home with little Boris and Natasha as well. It is often very difficult to prioritize family and personal and work all at the same time. So difficult, in fact, that I often suffer from the dreaded “Analysis Paralysis” (which I’ve learned does not have to do with incapacitating oneself from the wrong end).
If I get home at 8pm, can I get a run in? Will Boris be sleeping? Will Natasha be working? Will I have to make dinner? Will I have to eat dinner? What time will he nap in the morning? If he naps at 9, can I run then? Will Natasha be home to watch him? Can I get up at 5 and run before everyone wakes up? Will Rocky hate me for waking her up so early?
Balancing this can sometimes lead to mental exhaustion before you even get to the decision. Luckily, Natasha is very flexible (Boris not so much) and we are usually able to work out a compromised schedule that allows her time during the weekends for her work and her personal well-being, while I’m away during the week for my work and (our) financial well-being. I’m into the whole compromise thing. Unfortunately, I’m running less than I’d like to, but hopefully at the benefit of my family.
A great many articles have been written on runners who will do crazy things to schedule time for their runs. Waking up at 4am, running after everyone’s in bed – I even read a story about a mother who would strap her kid into a backpack & run the trails with a 20 pound baby on her back! I don’t think my ‘Wonky’ ankles could bear the Boris weight for more than a mile (I’ve tried running with him in it…it’s like running in salt water).
Craziest of all is not running period – which is why I’m happy to get out from time to time & make the most of it while I’m out. Enjoy the freedom, the silence, the absence of colorful plastic toys – and just run for a bit.
Peace.
Bullwinkle,
Nice blog, You captured the dilemma of many parents accurately. I found the following things helpful:
1. Pay in advance : do the chores, take on new responsibilities, cook, clean, shop, mow, shovel, change diapers, walk the baby, rock the baby, whatever! Do this and your 1-2 hour run is not a guilt trip but a reward!
2. Ignore the item above and buy a treadmill.
Best wishes!
BooMan
To get a complete list of “how to go out for a run and not feel guilty” please buy me a new pair of shoes.
BW,
I tried to respond to this the moment it was posted but I didn’t figure out until now that I had to register again! (What’s with that Mr.B?) Anyway, nicely stated. We are of a minority in the group, us ‘rents (as my 21 year-old & 17 year-old progeny refer to me and the misses), though we are growing with the impending addition of Quiet Runner and his better half. I second all (except the treadmill comment) that the mighty and wise BooMan states (including the request to give ME shoes that will set you free of guilt!) and add only this… it doesn’t get any easier, only different.
May your “bank account” be mostly in the black, and your “bank” president be mostly kind and lenient with your requests for time advances.
Snobody
Bullwinkle,
You are not alone. I can say that I can identify with exactly what you are going through, I am just a little farther down the line, but I was there. The important thing is to prioritize in this busy world of ours. And you must remember, to include yourself. Your son will only be this age once and you must enjoy every moment because they are gone by tomorrow. Your health and mental well being fall into this, so you should get out and get some Bullwinkle and Rocky time also. That time alone makes you a better father and you will feel less guilty if you make it a point to spend time with your family. The house can wait, so what some things aren’t exactly how you want them, the lawn can be mowed tomorrow, you can pick up later. Snobody is right that it doesn’t get easier, it just gets different. Kids grow up quickly and before you know it you’ll be in your 40’s and Boris will be in High School. Enjoy lifes moments. The chores can wait.
P.S. I hate treadmills. BORING